my love is building a building

new journal.

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 19:30:06 GMT

mathofbirds

so add it if you'd like.

i cant promise it will be anything spectacular.

we are shocked to be here in the face of the meantime

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 06:20:55 GMT

3 months.

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 23:56:41 GMT

in my window,
god is a child
sleeping in the blanket ocean,
tearing up the wallpaper sky,
he lifts his little hand

to raise the lightswitch sun

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 22:49:41 GMT

choose a concrete
and bad noise to burn fluid
rubble becomes structure
from the beauty of confusion

(el-p)

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 22:29:02 GMT

the skinny fists are falling
like black towers into red seas
(find another way,downward, to
heaven;

my soul is growing old)

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 23:07:52 GMT

when morning felt afterwards
the wind passed through her hair
could we divide silence, anyhow?
melting the mind collage,
newspapers everywhere,
or twelve days of summer
singing worry songs about worry spring
i wondered who was listening;

(did we live enough to say we were alive?
passing the tall midnihgt of our splendor
or were we dying the whole time?
cross out happy leaving,
the fractions of a long goodbye,
i wondered why)

and the wind passed through my hair

and the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 23:18:22 GMT

i once met a man who wasnt afraid

his hair was truly a mess
pointing up and left and north and right and
at the sky
and mother wasnt fond of him
he talked about mind persuasion and his life,
mountains to move and fighting with time
he knew about Freud and the second coming of Christ
and no one really listened to him

and one day he said, looking up from his book,
"im building a ship with my mind
and i will brave bloodthirsty waves
as many days and nights as it will take
to get to her.
and i will say everything
that i head meant to say."

and i felt sorry for him.

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 07:50:36 GMT

film winds through tiny veins
in bloodshot eyes
looks into the pupil screen
and whispers
to the person sitting next to him,
"this is the worst part of the Masterpiece"
god looks at his watch and
back to the ground again
(there is no time for the Revolution)

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 23:25:10 GMT

locked outside the gates of hell,
among worry and doubt,
it began to rain
and for hours we sat with our faces in our hands

and He didnt come out of the sky
when i looked up,
god was on the street
walking toward me

(He took His keys out
and let us in)

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 23:13:13 GMT

"we lay on our backs,
looking at the cieling
and wondering what God
had wrought when he made
life so sad." -Jack kerouac

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 22:50:06 GMT

"during the 1960's
i think people forgot
what emotions were supposed to be
and i dont think
they've ever remembered"

(andywarhol)

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 22:58:21 GMT

man with those crying eyes,
please get out my house (with your HolySpirit)
i have not memorized any prayers
nor am i a saviour
but i guess i'll have to call
an ambulance;
there is a lot of blood and angels and,
i am afraid that life is trapped here(burning totheground)
it is FiftySix degrees outside(&
god is dead on my bathroom floor)

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 23:11:21 GMT

we were monuments built for destruction
on love's little hands (try to write):
"i have been dying my whole life"
fearful of the resurrection,
we moved across the sea of night
(we existed once)
[[[small rain made our footsteps
scattered like light]]]
one soul at a time
through revolving death
swim toward that winter day
(everything's breaking, everything's broken
and going away)
//
our vision became old
trembling eyes on nervous words
we wouldnt speak
and summer came too soon(we existed once)
we were white buttons on black coats
we looked like dreams and wiped them off
on autumn's sleeve
smoke
swirls within the clouds, rearrange
sleeping underneath the heart tree;

and it is morning(life's little voice squeaks)
"he should have killed himself last week"

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 06:11:42 GMT

...perhaps we are all one dying flower,

waiting for the rain to come

birds

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 08:19:51 GMT

i hope you love birds, too.
it is economical.
it saves going to heaven.

-Emilydickinson?

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 22:35:21 GMT

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-e.e. cummings

something real.

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 23:04:23 GMT

so sunday was one month for lacey and i.
yesterday was senior ditch day.
it was lacey, stephanie, candace, natahsa, james and i
(even though james and candace are sophomores)
somehow fitting in that little car.
we went to circus circus (very fear and loathing) for breakfast
then to the childrens museum (this was the best part)
then james left with his girlfriend and natasha went home
and the rest of us saw coach carter which is not very good
but very ghetto and very much reminded me of the very school
i was ditching from.
then, today i had to switch out of my creative writing class
so i have modern literature now and lacey is in my class.
(which is great news)

i hope everything is going well for everyone.

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 07:46:47 GMT

it's autumn, it's trees, it's telephone wires
and she sings some song I can't understand, some High Mass
of Life.

she went on singing but I wanted to die
I wanted yellow flowers like her golden hair
I wanted yellow-singing and the sun.

this is true, and that is what makes it so strange
I wanted to be opened and untangled, and
tossed away.

-Charles Bukowski

strange and beautiful

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 00:41:20 GMT

SpaceyLacey7 (4:18:27 PM): im glad we are mike and lacey

note her totally awesome 7th grade screen name. (: X287627373638392

Wed, 12 Jan 2005 02:28:58 GMT

when the world ends, there wont be anyone left to the tell the story of how it happened.
there wont be anyone here to listen.
we have to write it while its happening.
we have to listen while we are dying.

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 08:46:32 GMT

This is the way the world ends: not with a bang, but a whimper.

-T.S. Eliot

the future is not what it used to be

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 08:28:08 GMT

all the doors opened at once;
countdown synthesized amazing moments
and we were new:
let's save tonight in bubble wrap,
sleep on a bed of windows
(look out upon a ruined city)
...&our hands built towers with each other's
stretched for miles into our eyes,
so we climbed to the top&
watched little life unfold (watched Mourning time
moving slower than the traffic)

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 10:55:21 GMT

tonight was really great.
she is amazing.

i hope everything is going okay for everyone.

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 20:41:33 GMT

always, with shiny flying blue cars
how beautiful (our future) we are
(L.O.V.E.) with empty spaces
filled in with glass
shadows that are really mountains
when you get up close
the best memories, or at least the ones
that we could save from the future
loudly passing in the wind
and sweeping up the sadness
that we will never use again

the brightest place

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 20:33:15 GMT

so i walked (very far)
toward the brightest place in the distance
and after an eternity
my bones were broken (eyes tired)
barely even able to crawl anymore
i looked up at the brightest place
and tried to arrange my face
into a smile (because now)
it was dark